Life is a funny old game and i don't mean ha ha. In a nutshell this is how i see it. We spend our lives as kids wanting to be 'grown up' do 'grown up things' being a grown up involves having a job, earning our own money, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, getting married, having a house and kids in which ever order it comes to you. BUT having a job and keeping a job is a juggling act, whether you loose you're job through means beyond you're control or you give up work to have a child. Keeping a marriage alive is a tricky one to as in time it seems you go through the motions as we have just been discussing at home. My husband goes to work, i stay home and clean the house and my son goes to school. Every now and again and only then due to financial restrictions we do something different to break up the monotony of it all. Running a house, being a husband/wife/mother/father is hard work, being the bread winner is hard work, doing the right thing by your kids is hard work and this is what we spend our childhoods wishing to do. Explain that one to me!
So what is it all about? We are in control of our own destiny is what i see/read quite regularly, i have been 'searching' for that ideal job that fits round school and the holidays that follow. I was a mobile hairdresser but have lost interest and confidence in my ability to do that plus I'd quite like to be employed so i don't have to worry about paper work and the like. I have applied for dog walking, dinner ladies, cleaning, store assistant and yet no joy. I have done a bit of cleaning for a friend of a friend but alas after a year or so that came to an end. I offered my services to a baking company which for a few weeks kept things ticking over but increased the stress in my life no end, no training to mention and lots of very un business like behaviour. Marriage has been a roller coaster of 'stuff' some of which has been easier to get through than others but we are still married atleast unlike so many of my friends who have sadly parted ways with their partners. Issues at school have been an ongoing burden for what seems like the entire length of this school year and then it's no wonder that everything gets you down. I am not a negative person i do try to see the good and be grateful for everything that i have but at the end of the day I'm just doing the best i can one day at a time. I dont' have all the answers things would be so much easier if i did. So what are your thoughts on Life?