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Thursday, 4 December 2008


Do you believe in fate or karma, what we give out we get back?
I have my moments but the last week or so I have been observing the signs!
For some while now my life has been topsy-turvy to say the least. I have moments of ‘Happiness’ like when the snow came unexpectedly a few weeks back but mostly I just muddle along trying to put things in order. In my life, my marriage, my home. Of late things have been harder than ever and I have felt at a complete loss as to know how to fix things.

So a week ago today my husband and I dropped Brett at nursery having changed his day and went to Coventry Christmas shopping. We met my mother-in-law and enjoyed our few hours cut short by my impending indulgence evening. That day we got on and got some things done. My signs for the day were that having been in close proximity to ladies with babies and been quite teary something is still tucked away regarding the loss of time spent with my baby when he was younger. My PTSD/PND and OCD took that time away from us. Having held my friends baby recently I don’t thing I actually want another baby. My bonus for the morning was buying a book for my niece and using the points I had collected which paid for all but a £1.

The weekend was enjoyable. We were out with friends, the ladies and gentlemen that we met when we all had our children. 3 years on us ladies still meet and our Christmas get together was husbands too. We did secret Santa and one of the ladies got us a voucher for the cinema with a baby-sitting offer thrown in, a very thoughtful gift. Sunday was spent with family as my mother and father-in-law are off to see my sister-in-law in New Zealand for the next 2/3 months. We will miss them.

On Monday I walked my son to nursery, it was really cold but somehow refreshing. I felt quite positive and Christmas was on my mind. It was such a pleasant feeling. Brett was well behaved all day!

Typically as I write this I can’t remember all the signs that came my way this week. I treated myself to a bottle of mulled wine and mince pies at Marks and Spencers with a voucher I was given almost exactly 3 years ago. By the end of Monday one of my fellow bloggers had given me an award for my blog, thank you Fannie J you can see (I hope) where I am going with this. I was really thinking someone or something; maybe even ME is giving me/us a break. I found myself saying hello or making polite chitchat with people I don’t know. Mum commented yesterday during shopping at the amount of people Brett had made smile with his entertaining personality. Anyway I could go on but I hope by now some of my signs have rubbed off or atleast made you look or to be more precise OBSERVE the signs, they are all around you and there for the taking :-)

1 comment:

Senta said...

I know just where you are coming from! Oh boy we've had some hard times but I have been so happy the last couple years, and I think a lot of it is because of doing what you are doing: noticing the small good things and feeling grateful...it seems more and more happy things decide to show up, ya know?