Happy Halloween

This beautiful picture is just one of the many works of art by Sue Miller of New Jersey.

As most of my friends and family know i am a huge fan of Fairies, Angels and all things fantasy.

Sue kindly gave me permission to use this picture. If you would like to see more of Sues work it can be found at www.suemillerart.com

Thanks Sue and hope you all have a happy and safe Halloween.

Secret Santa

Well it's finally happened, I've given in. I took time out to watch a film and a Christmas film at that.

It is one of many i intend to watch, time permitting.

'Secret Santa' traditional feel good Christmas viewing. Rebbecca, a journalist goes to visit a small town to uncover the true identity of their secret Santa who every Christmas helps various members of the community. What she uncovers is essentially the essence of Christmas. The joy of giving.

The last time i recall trying to watch this film was when i was pregnant and either tiredness or tears kicked in and i don't think i saw it out. Well worth a watch.

Letter

'Just to expand on things slightly. As you probably recall my pregnancy had been a breeze up till my routine visit to the midwife at 39 weeks. I had seen three different midwives although only two regularly. During that last visit she concluded that my measurements had 'dropped off'.Throughout my pregnancy I had questioned my size and had been concerned as to whether there had been enough movement. So I went for the scan. Jason came home from work in Milton Keynes. The lady who was going to do the scan wasn't concerned she thought my baby had dropped down into my pelvis. She fairly quickly realised she was wrong. She said 'this is a small baby'. What is small you ask yourself? I was placed on a monitor and was concerned when during what I had taken to be some sort of contraction the babies heart beat dropped significantly. I was soon bundled into an ambulance and told that it was likely that my baby would be delivered. How exactly I asked myself.

Brett was born at 15.31 by emergency Cesarean weighing 3lb 9oz. My birth plan went out the window. Brett was rushed past me and that was the last I saw of him bar a photo till almost 24 hour later.

Brett was in Intensive care for a week and special care for two. Bar being small and jaundice there were no other significant problems. It was a frustrating time, I truly felt like the baby sitter unsure of what I could and couldn't do.

Brett finally came home and at some point I remember thinking 'Your coping quite well'. Things finally went pear shaped one Friday night in May when Jason went away for the weekend to a football tournament. I thought I was going completely mad. I felt like I had spent all afternoon trying to unsuccessfully wash bottles. I spent the rest of that day and evening at my mums and a large part of that on the phone to NHS Direct. That was pretty much when I first admitted I couldn't cope. I had tried to be superwoman not wanting to admit failure. Most of the people who should have noticed there was a problem didn't, I.e doctors and health visitors.

I am still on anti depressants and have been since around May this year when having been told last Christmas by my doctor 'it's just you' and to come off them I stupidly did. Things then reached breaking point. I truly thought that either me or Jason would eventually say enough is enough. So I said I would do what I could to help me. They have been much more effective this time. I have tried other things in the mean time, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), I listen to a self hypnosis tape which Glenny gave me, more now as my time than necessity. I have chipped away at the OCD which spiralled out of control when the PND or PTSD kicked in. Life is soooo much easier now. I am not being so hard on myself and am getting on with life and enjoying (for the most part lol!) teaching and encouraging my little monkey Brett.

I feel very passionately that too many women are suffering silently. The signs are going unnoticed. PND or PTSD, I'm not sure of the difference technically can escalate out of all control which isn't good for mum, baby, dad or family that feel at a loss as to know what to do.

Anyway life is good. I'm looking forward to Christmas and Brett's second birthday, time has gone so fast on one hand but we're getting there.'

This is an excerpt from an email i have just sent to a friend. I hope that this may help one or two people realise that PND or PTSD are nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not as i put it about 'failure' more about getting the help to do the best job that you can. None of us are experts and we're all different and so are our capabilities. Maybe one of my problems was not accepting readily the help i was offered because for the most part I'd always managed before i had Brett so why should i need any help now. Well having a baby changes your life immeasurably so we all need a bit of help now and again whether it be medication a hug or help with the washing or ironing or a few minutes to ourselves. Don't be afraid to ask.

Come and be pampered

Dates for your diary

INDULGENCE EVENING

Henry Hinde Junior School, Cornwallis Road, RUGBY.

Thursday 18th October.

7pm to 10pm.

Tickets : £1.50 in advance or £2.00 on the door.

Tuesday 9th October

Is our anniversary. As i posted after midnight Monday it should say Tuesday, to save any confusion!

It's Our Anniversary Today

Well it's six years today since Jason and I took our vows in the town hall in Phaphos, Cyprus. It seems a long time ago now but we still reminisce about our time there and when we shall venture back. Unfortunately with me being ill on our return I'm not all that keen but maybe one day.

I have shared a poem today, i write a lot but am keeping most of my written works for a separate blog I'm hoping to put together when i eventually have everything I've written together.

This poem was started some time ago so i changed a small piece of it and finished it off. I hope is sums up our time together. Happy Anniversary Jason, Love you x

Happy Anniversary - Six Years Today

It’s more than seven years
since you stepped back into my life.
Six years ago ‘TODAY’
you made me your wife.
A little baby boy,
made our family complete,
A full time occupation.
Nothing can compete.
Life has not been easy,
it has to be said.
Some day’s it’s quite an achievement
if I have made the bed.
But lie on it is what we do
together or apart.
As we continue to face
what life throws at us,
may nothing ever part.
So ‘Happy Anniversary my love'.
It’s nice to have you here.
To share the good times
and the bad.
To know you’ll always be near.
We’ve started on life’s journey.
There’s still a way to go,
but just take a moment to remember.
I still love you so…

Kerridwen Niner

Did you know

Bassett's originally launched Jelly Babies back in 1918, as 'Peace Babies' to celebrate the end of the First World War.

Halloween

Well you certainly can't miss that this so called spooky day of the year will soon be upon us. Personally I'm on my countdown to Christmas. Halloween and Bonfire Night stand between me and my favourite time of year. I'm not sure most of us understand the reason that Halloween even exists but it gives our children an excuse to dress up and generally parade around the streets accompanied by pumpkin buckets filled with sweets, oh yeah and an adult! Unfortunately i think knocking on random doors dressed as cute scary characters is not something we should be encouraging our children to do unless we accompany them. From what i recall as children we had one or two Halloween parties at home. A few friends, costumes and a glowing pumpkin or bowl of apples and we were more than happy.

Laughingly nowadays i turn all the lights off and wait for my sister to call me on my mobile to say she's outside the door with one or more of her children waiting for offerings.

So what scary things will go bump in the night this year?

Time is too slow for those who wait,

too swift for those who fear,

too long for those who grieve,

too short for those who rejoice,

but for those who love, time is eternity.

Time flies

'Sunday
19/12/82

Dear Kelly,

Thank you for the card, letter and photograph, i was very pleased to hear from you. I
think it was a lovely idea to write to me and I'm very glad you did. When you only hear about people now and again and never see them at all the years seem to flash by, meaning that i was staggered to find you were already twelve years old.'

Forgive the fact that it appears to say Kelly rather than Kerri, I'm not sure whether that's down to writing or memory lol!

This is a passage from a letter as you can see dated Sunday 19th of December 1982 from my mums Auntie, my great Aunt. I'm not sure what made me start writing to her initially, i don't think i ever met her but our communications kept up till at least 1984 or at least that's the last letter I've found. I don't believe i ever met my great Aunt although she may have met me when i was too little to remember. I'm glad i took the time to write to her now, i have enjoyed reading through her letters, she's gone now as are many members of our distant family. Mum is embarking with lots of help in doing our family tree and it is interesting for all of us i hope to find our roots. It's the usual thing that the questions we have come when there is no longer anyone with the answers, it is important to take the time amongst all the things we NEED to do to talk to our nearest and dearest so we don't wish we had taken the time.

Mum is enjoying her new project and has met some lovely helpful members of our family and made some new friends at the same time. I wonder what she will find out next?

Linea

This came in the post for me today. As soon as i saw the envelope on the floor i knew what it was.

This is one of two ATCs that my friend Annette sent me. It's been a while since i made any ATCs but we've traded other things.

Technically ATCs are 2.5x3.5.They can be decorated to your tasted. You can slip them into special sleeves which in my case makes things difficult as many of the ones i have made have been three dimensional, decoupage and teabag folding. You can give them away or trade them but you don't sell them.

I've traded some lovely material with Annette this time which i hope she finds useful.In return i got Linea, one of Annette's lovely ladies, one other that I'm saving for Christmas and a couple of Annette's lovely designs that are now available on cards and stickers.

Takk Annette (Hope I've got that right lol!)

Polly Pocket

This is Brett playing with one of my two Polly Pockets. It's sometime since i bought these. They both came second hand from Ebay. One is a hairdressers the other a kind of fairy playground. No guesses for why i chose them lol!

I pulled out a couple of boxes from the loft yesterday afternoon and both my Polly Pockets were in there. I brought them downstairs this afternoon and Brett decided that he needed to 'have it!' His words not mine. He played with them for a while before we went out and continued to play with the fairy playground when we got home. I'm always fascinated by what interest them. I guess there are things inside the playground like a balloon and roundabout, compartments, it lights up. There are four tiny Polly's, one fairy another doll and the two that ran the salon have moved in. Not sure how long it will amuse him for but nice to see him playing.